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So Two Old Men Walk Into a Trade War…

Another week, another round of economic déjà vu.

The government’s still napping, the Fed’s still whispering about cuts, and China and the U.S. are now in what can only be described as a testosterone-fueled economic pissing match. Meanwhile, we’re here doing the sensible thing — ignoring the noise and sticking to data that actually moves portfolios.

Let’s break it down.

Contents show

Economic News

1️⃣ Government Shutdown, Week Whatever

We’re still running on radio silence. No new official numbers, no clean reports — just talking heads explaining why the other side’s fault smells worse. Translation: nothing new, move along.

2️⃣ Holiday Spending Looks Grinchy

A Dolittle survey showed Americans plan to spend 10% less this holiday season than last year. That’s bad news for retail stocks — and worse news for mall Santas. 

Even more telling: 57% of Americans expect the economy to weaken next year. That’s the gloomiest sentiment since Dolittle started tracking in 1997. When a majority of Americans actually agree on something, it’s rarely good.

3️⃣ China vs. the U.S.: Grandpa Cage Match

The world’s two largest economies are now acting like two dads fighting at a Little League game.

  • China slapped a 70% export tax on rare earth materials.
  • The U.S. fired back with 100% tariffs on Chinese imports.
  • Then came threats, investigations, and what I can only assume is a future reality show titled Old Men, New Tariffs.

If you’re wondering how long this will drag on, my bet is “longer than our collective patience.” Stay tuned.

Top 10 IINvestments Going Ex-Dividend Next Week

Let’s just call this what it is: a swamp-ass list — humid, sticky, and not ideal, but still worth scanning.

We’ve got 6 CEFs, 1 ETF, and 3 stocks this week. The standouts:

  • LTC (we hold it)
  • WIW (inflation protection CEF, and one I’ve recommended before)

The rest? Meh.

WIW offers a solid hedge for inflation and geopolitical chaos. USOI pays variably — so if you live off dividend income, just remember that this one’s moody.

And since a few of you asked how a “fair valued” CEF can have a buy-up-to price higher than its current price, let’s use EMO as a quick example:

  • Current Price: $43
  • Buy-Up-To Point: $46
  • NAV: ~$47
  • 1-Year Discount: -8.16%
  • Historical Discount: -9.28%

Combine that with a 10% yield, and you’ve got something range-bound between $40–$48. So anything between $44–$46 looks like a smart entry. The math checks out — even if the market doesn’t always.

If I had to buy something from this swampy list, it’d be LTC and WIW. Everyone else can sweat it out.

Portfolio Updates

1️⃣ Vanning Portfolio — Tactical Roundhill Rotation

We used our cash to pick up MSTW (another Roundhill ETF). PLTW and COIW were too pricey, but MSTW sat at $30 with an $0.87 dividend coming next week — yes please.

With Bitcoin acting unhinged, there’s potential upside here, and that payout is the highest since August. Remember, the Roundhills are our fast-track vehicle to kill off the CONY loan faster.

2️⃣ Retirement Portfolio — Cashing Out & Reallocating

We officially recouped our initial investment in ASTS (space/satellite stock) — up 300%. We’re keeping 30 profit-only shares to ride the wave but redeploying the principal into income-generating assets.

3️⃣ Where the Money Went

 With fresh cash from ASTS, we picked up:

  • 5 TGT shares (still cheap under $100)
  • 10 LYB shares (solid yield + rate cut upside)
  • 30 AEF shares (emerging markets exposure minus China — you’re welcome)
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