You ever get the feeling we’re living in an economic sitcom — just without the laugh track?
This week had it all: “surprise” job growth that barely registers, manufacturing data that makes you want to drink, and a government that’s officially broken its own record for incompetence. Meanwhile, markets keep spinning, dividends keep dripping, and we keep hunting yield where others panic.
Let’s break it down.
Economic News
1️⃣ Jobs: Technically Up, Emotionally Down
ADP dropped the private jobs report on Wednesday, showing the economy added 42,000 private jobs. Yay… kind of.
It’s the first time since July we’ve seen growth, but no one’s celebrating. Most people have collectively accepted the reality that the labor market is, well, screwed. Growth is minimal, wages are flat, and the only thing expanding faster than jobless claims is government drama.
2️⃣ Tariffs: The “Bring Jobs Back” Myth
Remember when tariffs were supposed to “revive American manufacturing”? Yeah, about that.
The ISM October Manufacturing Report came out, and for the 8th straight month, the U.S. manufacturing sector contracted. (Translation: bad.) The last time this sector expanded was February — right before the April tariff tantrum kicked in.
Since then? More taxes, fewer factories. The “make it in America” pitch is starting to sound more like “pay more for it in America.” But hey — at least the rhetoric is consistent.
3️⃣ Government Shutdown: The Sequel No One Asked For
Pop the champagne! The government shutdown just became the longest in U.S. history.
And, in a twist that will shock no one, both record-setting shutdowns happened under the Overlord. It’s like he’s a chaos magnet with a golf handicap.
Here’s the TL;DR:
- Republicans won’t address healthcare until the budget is passed.
- Democrats won’t pass the budget until healthcare is extended.
- And because actual adults no longer run government… we wait.
To be continued — probably indefinitely.
Top 10 IINvestments Going Ex-Dividend Next Week
OHHHHH MYYYYY, the places you’ll go.
This week’s list is a banger. Average yield: 15.4% if you split your cash evenly across all 10 (please don’t — that’s how villains are born).
Here’s the lineup:
- 3 CEFs: ECC, EIC, OXLC
- ECC & OXLC = Bank loan CEFs
- EIC = High-yield financial CEF
- 3 BDCs: SPMC, HTGC, CSWC
- 1 mREIT: ABR
- 1 Chemical: WLKP
- 1 Consumer Finance: OMF
- 1 Coal: UAN
We currently hold SPMC, HTGC, ABR, and UAN. LOVE them all.
We’ve also held CSWC, ECC, and OXLC — less love there.
Diversification tip: There’s crossover between the CEFs and BDCs, so research before you double-dip sectors.
Portfolio Updates
1️⃣ Tim Gets Froggy 🐸 — The $1,000 Shuffle
Feeling bold this week, I sold $1,000 of THTA (our cash holding) to test-drive a shiny new ETF: ULTI, from the REX team that brought us FEPI and AIPI.
Think of ULTI as YieldMax’s ULTY’s more disciplined cousin.
THTA was bringing in $9.90/month — so as long as ULTI pays more, we’re winning. And if it underperforms? Well, that’s why we experiment.
2️⃣ TRMD Trimmed — and AFG Axed (For a Good Cause)
We cut TRMD in half — yes, at a loss — but hear me out. The position was dragging, and the opportunity cost was too high.
At the same time, we sold AFG for a 54% gain. Why? Because something special hit the radar…
3️⃣ The KMB Sale of the Century 🧻
KMB (Kimberly-Clark) — maker of Kleenex, Huggies, and Scott — went on hardcore sale after announcing it’s buying Kenvue (Tylenol, Band-Aid, Listerine) for $48 billion.
We’re talking prices not seen since 2018 and a 4.25% dividend yield (usually ~3.5%). Plus — wait for it — 53 straight years of dividend increases. That’s dividend royalty, baby.
Will the merger work? Maybe. But if a blue-chip company bets $48B on it, I’m willing to ride that bet too.
Selling TRMD (volatile, low quality) and AFG (great gain, low impact) to buy KMB is the kind of nimble pivot that pays off long-term — especially in a retirement portfolio.
TRMD yields more, sure. But KMB is the definition of a reliable compounder. Sometimes you trade yield for longevity — and that’s how real income portfolios grow.
🧩 Key Takeaway
When the economy’s messy and the headlines are nuts, flexibility is everything.
We pivot, reallocate, and chase smarter income — not just higher yields.
And yes… sometimes that means selling paper towels to buy baby wipes.
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